I don't have the heart

I don't. Really. I don't have the heart to continue striving for the performance. That's what the tiny voice inside of me whispered when my actresses couldn't say their lines, when they stuttered and hung them mid-sentenced. The voice whispered, not yelled or shouted. The pressure was so great that it could only whisper. I could feel the desperate throbs in my ears. I could hear them, actually. It felt like an inch away from disaster. I almost spilled it out to my actresses, but I bit my tongue. I guess that's why afterwards I felt lost, not knowing whether to cry or to blow-up in rage. I don't have the heart....... help.

EH2/Nov 7,2006/19:35