The Frightening Similarities Between Me and the Gas Wonder Fuel

I was only throwing an unintentional glance to the solitary can of Gas Wonder Fuel, a compact can of butane gas designed for portable gas cooker, when the things written under the 'Caution' part grabbed my attention. Among all the warnings of dos and don'ts printed there, I found the following two describe me well:

• Flammable, keep away from sources of ignition
• Keep out of reach of children

Besides those, I can alter another two statements to fit me:

• This product is designed for NO pretty-but-dumb/good-looking-but-moronic/hypocritical opportunist/narrow-minded halfwit only
• Do not refill upsetting, thinking-required matters into the product with empty stomach

What a way to amuse myself. Hahahahaha....